


Dear Percocet

by frerardtastic



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Smut, Suicide, just be careful it could be very triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frerardtastic/pseuds/frerardtastic
Summary: Gerard coaxes Frank from the edge. He figures he needs some emotional support, so that's what he gives him. He doesn't expect what Frank will do once Gerard leaves him alone in a room.*ONE SHOT*TRIGGER WARNINGS*suicide*overdose*drugs*alcohol*major character death





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

*Please ensure you've read all trigger warnings, which can be found in the description.

 

They sat on the edge of the pier together, their legs dangling effortlessly over the side as the water flowed threateningly beneath them. They were silent, words having not been exchanged since they ended their phone call, the phone call that was Frank's dire cry for help.

 

The sounds that could be heard was the sound of the rushing, violent waters, the seagulls that lurked hungrily around them, and the occasional sniffle from the younger boy that begged Gerard to come to his rescue.

 

Not that Gerard had any problem with doing so. His best friend was hysterical, in danger. Of course he's going to drop what he's doing to make sure he's okay. It didn't help that Frank was incredibly intoxicated, and Gerard isn't sure what came first. The inebriation, or the suicidal thoughts and actions.

 

The boy was swaying, barely able to keep himself steady despite being sat on the ground. He was completely wasted, and really, it wasn't safe at all for Frank to be on the ledge of the pier.

 

They sat together in speechless silence, before the older man finally spoke. He turned to his best friend, who turned to return the gaze. "Are you ready to talk about it?" Gerard asked him, carefully and tenderly. He hesitantly put his hand over Frank's, who's was laying flat on the pier.

 

Frank stared at Gerard for a moment, his eyes barely open. Gerard wasn't sure why he was asking him to talk about it, when the younger of the two was nearly completely incoherent when he phoned Gerard for help. "I just feel... y'know, helpless," he shrugged nonchalantly, then returned his gaze to the ocean that presented itself in all its torturous, tempting glory before him.

 

His words were slurred, but Gerard could understand. This wasn't the first time he's had to decipher the words of an intoxicated man. "But, you're not helpless.. you have me, right? I'll always be here to help you, Frank." Gerard reassured his friend, now taking his hand into his grasp.

 

Frank looked down at their hands, then looked up to Gerard's face through his eyelashes, more than likely to hide his burning cheeks. "I was going to jump off this pier, y'know," Frank slurred out, then gestured to the rope and the brick that was sat beside him, which Gerard was completely oblivious to when he arrived.

 

"I'm glad you didn't," Gerard mumbled, his gaze ultimately landing upon Frank's lips. They only lingered there for a short moment, before he saw them twitch up into a smile. That's when he averted his gaze. "I'm proud of you. Y'know, for calling? You're really, really strong for that."

 

Frank nodded, moving just barely an inch closer to Gerard. "I hear drowning is the most peaceful way to go," he said, as if it were the most casual information to possess."It's really been a long time comin', Gee. I'm miserable, you can't tell? I'm- I'm alone, I can't keep a relationship, my parents don't love me anymore.. ever since... you know.."

 

And Gerard knew. Ever since Jamia and his daughter passed away due to complications during delivery. His parents and Jamia's parents, as well as himself, were all present in the delivery room to watch their loved ones die. And his parents blamed him, even though it was no fault of his own. It took such a toll on Frank, losing his wife and his daughter at the same time. This ultimately drove Frank to drink, and thus he developed a nasty alcohol addiction.

 

"I'm bound to die one day, Gerard," he continued to speak senselessly, and Gerard just listened to the near incomprehensible words. "And you won't always be able to prevent it. And- and, you know what? There's something I've always wanted to do.." he said to Gerard, moving even closer to him.

 

"Frank..." Gerard said. He didn't want to stop him, he knew where this was going. But he couldn't take advantage of Frank's vulnerable state. Though by the same token, everyone that associates themselves with Frank and Gerard, knows that Frank has been hopelessly in love with Gerard since before he even met Jamia. Who is he to deny him of his desires?

 

Frank nodded softly, just barely noticeable, and leaned in closer to his best friend. His lips parted and his eyes closed, they sensually connected lips as Frank rested his cold hands on Gerard's neck.

 

It was a fairly innocent kiss to begin with. They were out in public, there wasn't exactly much they could do. Though they both certainly were having a rather tame tongue war. Gerard could taste the alcohol in Frank's mouth. It made him sick to his stomach to think there was even alcohol in his own mouth, but given the circumstances, he wasn't too torn up about it.

 

He couldn't help but bring his hand up to Frank's jaw, pulling him impossibly closer as their mouths moved slowly, passionately, as if they've been together all along. Gerard's thumb is subconsciously stroking Frank's jaw, and Frank shivered under his touch.

 

Frank was the first to pull away, surprisingly. He rested his forehead against Gerard's, all the while keeping his eyes closed. Neither spoke for a moment,before Frank raised his hand to Gerard's chest and gently placed it over his heart, before whispering to him, "Make me feel loved. Make love to me," he opened his eyes and locked with Gerard's shocked hazel ones. "Please. It's all I ask."

 

Gerard sat staring at Frank incredulously. Then he weighed the proposition. This isn't something Frank would regret when he's sober, and really he'd be helping his friend feel better.

 

He nodded slowly in agreement, as he placed a soft kiss to Frank's lips.

 

~

 

They arrived to Frank's apartment about an hour later, after the fiasco of hailing down a taxi and deciding who's place they would go to.

 

They were completely naked in Frank's bed, Frank lying on his back with his eyes closed and legs spread open, as Gerard lay besides him with his arm over Frank's thigh, his fingers lubed up and stretching Frank's hole. He had his other hand in the other man's hair, gently massaging his scalp, all while he gently kissed all over Frank's neck.

 

The sounds that the younger man was emitting was absolute music to Gerard's ears. His soft moans and quiet gasps as Gerard hit just the right spot. Neither man wanted this moment to end, though they both wanted to get to it.

 

Frank eventually wrapped his small hand around Gerard's wrist, and pulled his fingers out. He glanced up at Gerard and faintly nodded. Gerard nodded in confirmation before he lubed himself up, and moved so that he was in front of Frank, his hands on his knees and gently prying his legs apart again.

 

As Gerard was positioning himself, the smaller boy wasted no time in clinging to Gerard, wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. He leaned down to the boy, rested his forehead again his and repeatedly assured him that he's "so gorgeous," and he is "such a perfect man."

 

Frank didn't respond, he couldn't respond. It's just too painful. He pressed his lips to Gerard's as he began to slowly push in. Immediately, a whining sound was released from Frank's mouth as the burning sensation took over him. He's only done this once before, and Gerard's cock is well above average.

 

Gerard stopped as he felt Frank's nails dig into his arm. He stopped a little less than halfway, giving Frank time to adjust. In the meantime, he wrapped a hand around Frank's cock and stroked him slowly as he gave him gentle kisses all over. "You're doing so well.." he assured him.

 

"You can move," Frank mumbled out, his eyes shut tightly as he moved a hand to Gerard's hair. Gerard began to move again, lacing his fingers with Frank's. The younger man's mouth dropped against Gerard's own mouth, his eyebrows furrowed and face contorted in pain, and a loud, pained, yet pleasured sound escaped. Gerard paused, waiting for Frank to give him the go ahead. "Don't stop, please just give it to me.."

 

Gerard chewed on his lip, apprehensive about Frank's wishes. But he wasn't going to deny him. He slowly pushed in the rest of the way until he bottomed out. He pulled out slowly, carefully, and Frank barely winced in pain. He experimented with a faster pace, and the younger man's face soon relaxed, replaced with one of bliss and sounds of ecstasy.

 

He had a steady pace going, thrusting into his best friend at a reasonable pace. It was so hard to not be relentless on Frank, his sounds of pleasure driving Gerard insane. Gerard dipped down and connected his lips to Frank's neck and sucked on it. He did this as he tried out a different method of stroking.

 

He did something different in the way he thrusted his hips that had Frank's back temporarily arching, his head tipped back with his mouth open. The most beautiful chorus of sex Gerard has ever heard. "Oh, god," he gritted out, his nails digging into his shoulders again. "Please, right there, you've fuckin' got it-"

 

This easily encouraged Gerard to go harder, though not too hard. As he did this, he felt Frank tighten around his cock, and his full body grip getting tighter as well. His toes were curling in pleasure behind Gerard, his head tipping back even more. Frank's hand snaked down to wrap around his cock and he began to stroke himself in time with Gerard's thrusts.

 

He was caught by surprise when Gerard's strong arms enveloped him, and he was sitting in Gerard's lap as he sat up against the headboard. The movement hit a different spot in Frank that had him crying out. Gerard didn't move just yet, he wanted to secure his grip on the brunette man first.

 

One arm was crossed over his back, his hand splayed out on Frank's head, to lay his head down on his shoulder. It felt more intimate this way, more personal. And Gerard would be up close and personal with Frank's lovely noises. The other arm was across Frank's waist to give him more stability.

 

He had such a tight grip on him, he wanted him to feel as secure as possible. He felt Frank adjust his head on his shoulder, leaving it tucked in his neck as he wrapped his arms around Gerard's shoulders.

 

"There you go.. perfect. Such a good boy, you're so perfect," Gerard spoke in Frank's ear, just barely above a whisper. He began thrusting up into Frank, starting slow at first. He was trying to refrain from allowing his own moans to escape, but he just couldn't help it.

 

Frank was panting breathlessly in Gerard's ear, the latter could feel his cool breath ghosting over his skin. He was letting out an assortment of pants, moans, and whines. "Harder Gerard." he sighed out to him, letting out higher pitched noises as Gerard listened and delivered, his cock hitting his prostate dead on. "Baby, fuck, oh my god-" he sat up straight and put his hands on Gerard's shoulders, deciding to fuck himself on to Gerard's cock. "S-so f-fuck- oh god, 'so fucking good Gee," Frank babbled on senselessly.

 

All Gerard could do is nod in agreement as he felt the beads of sweat forming on each other's bodies. He used his firm grip on Frank to physically lift him up and slam him back down, in which he earned the most beautiful sounds in return.

 

"You're so tight for me baby," Gerard panted out, then placed more kisses to his neck and shoulder. "Look at you, riding my cock like you were made to do this. We fit perfectly Frankie- fuck-" Frank tightened around Gerard's cock as he rode him, which had an incredible effect on Gerard. "Fucking perfect, so lucky to have you here with me-"

 

"I'm- I'm s-so close Gee-" Frank panted out desperately.

 

In a swift, effortless, and quick movement, Gerard had Frank on his back again, and he was pounding into him now, his large hands pushing Frank's sweaty bangs out of his face so he could get the entire view of it. "Fuck, I can't believe how gorgeous you are, I wish you could see yourself right now,"

 

One of Frank's hands dipped down to jerk himself off, keeping up with the quick pace of Gerard's thrusts, while the other hand was tangled in his own hair, holding on for dear life as he could feel himself about to cum at any minute. He was letting out sounds that Gerard had only heard from professional porn stars. He sounded whorishly angelic with the noises that were being emitted from his mouth right now.

 

Frank suddenly gasped, and Gerard knew his orgasm hit. His back arched up into Gerard's body, his legs shook as pleasure wracked through his own body, and his eyes even rolled back. Gerard has had this kind of orgasm before, and he's certain Frank blacked out.

 

Frank's tight grip around Gerard's waist isn't allowing him to move until he's done riding out his orgasm, as he furiously tugged at his hair as cum spurted all over his stomach and chest. He finally relaxed again, panting heavily with quiet whines every now and then. His eyes are closed, his arm thrown over his face. "Finish inside of me," he moaned out, as if he could read Gerard's mind.

 

He nodded and wasted no time in beginning to thrust into Frank again. He was moaning once again, but Gerard could tell it was a strain on his throat if he tried to moan as loud as he wanted to.

 

It wasn't too long before Gerard thrust himself into Frank particularly hard, tucking his face into Frank's shoulder as he let out a loud, long moan, his warm and sticky cum making Frank feel warm and full inside.

 

After he rode out his orgasm, he slowly pulled out of Frank, who whimpered as he did so. He relaxed himself next to Frank, pressing loving kisses up and down Frank's shoulder. Frank turned to look at him, seemingly less intoxicated now. "I- I love you so much, Gerard. Okay?"

 

Gerard nodded, taking Frank's hand in his own. "I love you too, Frank. You know, you've always been so special to me. I've always loved you so much, y'know? I don't know what got into me, why I didn't go after you. But, now's my chance, right?"

 

Frank could burst into tears at Gerard's confession and the hopeful smile on his face. He put his hand on his cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Not right now, Gee. I'm not wanting to be in a relationship at the moment."

 

Gerard look disappointed, but the smile remained on his face nonetheless. "I'll wait for you," he said quietly before returning the gentle kiss. Frank simply nodded. He can't hurt the man like that, give him false hope or just shoot him down. "I'm starving, let me go make us some food. What are you hungry for?"

 

"Tacos," Frank croaked out with no hesitation, as he knew it would take fairly long to make. Gerard smiled and nodded, kissing Frank's nose before grabbing his discarded boxers from the floor and leaving the room.

 

Now, it was time.

 

He just needed to feel loved by someone one last time. He needed to feel loved by Gerard just one last time. He was okay to go now.

 

He made his way to his dresser after pulling himself out of bed. He quickly dressed himself, as he didn't want to be indecent when he's found. He grabbed the bottle of Percocet from his dresser, so harmless yet a beacon of destruction at the same time. He carried the bottle back over to the bed, and grabbed a pen and notepad from the bedside table. He quickly wrote out everything he felt needed to be said, before taking the cap off of the pill bottle.

 

He dumped them out in his hand and stared at them. It'll take the pain away. No more suffering. No more blame. No more guilt.

 

He nodded to himself and threw back a handful of pills, choking them down by steadily drinking from a bottle of vodka he had on the bedside table as well. In total, he took about twenty-four tablets, ten milligrams each.

 

He had the note tucked between his fingers, laid himself down, pulled the blanket up to his chest, and waited patiently for peace to overcome him.

 

~

 

By the time Gerard returned thirty minutes later to tell Frank that dinner was done, he was already gone.

 

There was already vomit pooled near his face, he already suffered through the agonizing stomach cramps and the seizures. He has no pulse, no sign of breathing. His lips and nails are blue, one of the dead giveaways of an overdose.

 

Though, the way Frank covered himself with the blanket, Gerard didn't see any of this right away. All he saw was the note peeking out from under the blanket. Curious, he grabbed it and opened it.

 

His cheerful smile that he had moments before as he thought about the man he just laid with, how much he loved him, now vanished, and completely abandoned Gerard's features.

 

"I'm going to try to make this make as much sense as possible, which is hard, because I can barely see straight.

Whoever finds this note, presumably Gerard, I want you to make sure that each mentioned person gets their excerpt.

 

Mom and dad-

I'll start with you. I can't call you "mom" or "dad" anymore. You're not a mother, nor a father. Parents don't abandon their children in the times that they need them most. They don't blame their son for the death of his wife and kid that he couldn't prevent. You made me feel like shit. You and dad, I hope this brings you to your senses and makes you realize that YOU are the cause of this. I hope you live with this for the rest of your lives.

 

Ray-

You're one of my best friends, I know you know that. You're one of the only ones I had left, one of the only ones that never gave up on me. And, I'm sorry to do this. I'm sorry to let you down, Ray. Take care of Pansy. I love you.

 

Mikey-

You mean a lot to me, Mikes. Even though we're constantly butting heads, we understand our relationship and the tough love we have for each other. We had our own, unique thing going on. I know you get it, and you're the only one that needs to get it. I love you Mikey.

 

Gerard-

Where do I even start? I'm hopelessly in love with you, Gee, and everyone knows it. I've been in love with you longer than I've even known Jamia. I was just always so scared and intimidated by you that I could never bring myself to try to initiate anything. I should've. I wish I would've. Maybe I could've avoided all the pain that followed my marriage to Jamia. I love you, so fucking much. And I can't thank you enough for being there for me whenever I called you. You're the best friend I could ever ask for, and you will make the perfect husband one day. Not mine, even though it was my dream to marry you, I know you'll make someone the happiest person alive. I love you. So much.

 

Ray, Mikey, Gerard. I love you more than I could ever express. Keep yourselves alive.

 

xoxo, Frank."

 

Gerard stopped reading halfway through, he put the note on the table and pulled the blanket away from Frank. He immediately got nauseous from the sight of him. He was dead. He looked dead. Gerard had no hope of him being revived. "Fuck, Frankie-" he whined out, tears falling uncontrollably from his eyes. "I thought- I thought I was getting somewhere with you- fuck!"

 

This hurt Gerard to his very core. He couldn't control himself or his emotions as he ripped a lamp from the wall and chucked it at the opposite wall. And then he screamed. He got on his knees and screamed, and sobbed, as loud as he could. He needed answers, answers that he could only get from the deceased man lying four feet away from him.

 

He was cursing everyone in that moment, mainly Frank's parents and God. Though he couldn't help but blame himself. Why would he leave Frank on his own for so long, when he knew he was feeling suicidal?

 

He turned around and just stared at Frank's cold, lifeless body. Well, he wasn't sure if he was cold yet, he hasn't touched him. He just had a cold, dead aura surrounding him.

 

Gerard shakily reaches for his for his phone from the bed side table and dialed 911. They answered immediately, and Gerard had to solemnly tell them that his boyfriend, for lack of a better term, has killed himself.

 

~

 

He stood numb as the paramedics checked for vitals, with no urgency as it was just as obvious to them as it was to Gerard, that there was no hope for the lost boy.

 

He felt his soul leave his body as he watched the coroner load his body into the grim black bag. But it was like a bad car accident, he just couldn't look away. He almost let them leave, but he had to rush to stop them so he could place a heartfelt kiss to Frank's forehead, just one last time. He whispered to him for thirty seconds, repeatedly apologizing and telling him that he loves him, before the coroner had to respectfully ask him to back away so he could transport Frank's body.

 

Ray and Mikey arrived as they were wheeling Frank's body down the stairs. They just stood near the door, probably feeling as numb and defeated as Gerard did in that moment. Mikey even went as far as removing his baseball cap out of respect for Frank as they wheeled his corpse out to the coroner's van. He didn't put it back on until he was in the van, and the doors were shut.

 

Gerard made his way downstairs slowly, feeling like there was a ton of bricks dumped on his body, clutching the note in his hand. He silently gestured for the two men to sit down on the sofa before he handed it to them to read Frank's last words to each man. Gerard stood behind the couch so he could read it as well, since he was unable to completely read it.

 

The coroner came back in shortly after, and handed Gerard cards. "They're for a local priest, a suicide hotline, the psychiatric hospital, and the funeral home," Gerard solemnly accepted the cards. "I'm sorry for your loss. As soon as the police complete their investigation, the clean up crew will be here. I think it would be best for you to leave the house for a couple days. Just, don't sleep here tonight."

 

It didn't matter, it's not Gerard's house, but nevertheless, Gerard nodded slowly at everything he said, looking down at the cards as he couldn't bring himself to look in the eyes of the man that took Frank's body from him. "Thank you." was all Gerard could croak out. The man gave Gerard a comforting pat on the shoulder before seeing himself out.

 

Ray offered the note back to Gerard, and the latter folded it into a small square, tucking it securely into his pocket. Both Ray and Mikey stood to surround Gerard, their arms enclosing them in a circle as he silently cried. They were trying to keep their composure because although Frank meant a lot to all of them, they knew Gerard is taking it the hardest. They needed to be the strong ones, they needed to be Gerard's support.

 

"Let's go to my place for a while." Mikey quietly offered, his voice breaking halfway through the sentence.

 

Ray and Gerard nodded in agreement. Gerard wasn't going to bother grabbing anything from his own house to stay at Mikey's house for the next couple of days. All he could do is grab his wallet from the dining room table, and numbly put his shoes on before he dragged himself out of the door.


	2. Epilogue

Frank Iero committed suicide on Wednesday, September 5th, and was buried the following Saturday. He had a beautiful service with a large turn out. He thought he had no one, when in reality the funeral home was packed full.

 

Gerard attended Frank's funeral, and shortly after he watched his body be lowered into the ground, he went home and shot himself.

 

Gerard Way committed suicide on Saturday, September 8th, and he was buried the following Friday, because his body wasn't discovered immediately like Frank's was. His funeral turn out was much like Frank's.

 

After Frank passed away, Gerard went insane. He was quickly diagnosed with PTSD after seeing a therapist the day after it happened. Frank's lifeless face and soulless body haunted him all day and night. Every time he blinked, he saw his body. His dreams were just a constant repeat of him finding Frank's body. He couldn't handle it anymore.

 

Mikey and Ray found Gerard's body. After Frank's funeral, they figured he'd needed time alone. So it wasn't until three days later that they finally checked on Gerard, and found his corpse on the ground, his brains on the ceiling.

 

Mikey and Ray blame themselves for not checking sooner.

 

Mikey has been diagnosed with depression since losing a close friend and his brother. He's turned to hard drugs since the day after he found Gerard's body. It's a rare occasion that Mikey is not high on heroin.

 

Ray is doing as okay as he can be. He's sad, losing three his best friends. He's practically dead to Mikey now, because Ray refuses to lend him money to fuel his filthy addiction. It wrenches Ray's heart to think about it, but unfortunately the reality is that Mikey is next. Mikey's going to die next.

 

-end-


End file.
